Information for Parents

'No one else has been able to stick with my son and keep him from pushing them away.' EM St. Paul

'I believe my son’s experience in Boys to Men was instrumental in the turnaround of his life.' DK, Minneapolis

'Ron now knows that he is on a journey to become a man.' JM, St. Paul

'The initial weekend was powerful for him, giving him tools to express his feelings, especially about our difficult family situation.' KJB, St. Paul

What will my son get out of this?

Every boy gets something, and it’s often different. The weekend is a smorgasbord of activities, each one with a different goal in mind. Certainly he will experience his own strength and we’ll help to identify some of his specific gifts. He’ll see his own goodness at new levels. There are great ongoing activities, that are often to a purpose. He’ll get a chance to make new friends who are engaged in the process of growing up. If he chooses to have a mentor, he’ll be matched with a safe, mature, man who commits to walk with him for a minimum of one year.
What happens on the weekend? There are games, activities, discussion circles, challenge events, and celebrations of victory. We’ll share the full agenda for the weekend with parents you come with your boy to register. We won’t tell the boys the specifics of the agenda since it would dilute the effectiveness of the processes. Integrated into the team & skill building we have opportunities for personal sharing amongst the boys. Often the boys open up their deep issues to find acceptance, witnessing, and support. At the end they are celebrated for their successes and asked to commit to their own path to manhood in a powerful way.

What happens after the weekend?

Any young man who has completed his Passage Adventure Weekend is called a Journeyman. We have ongoing activities that include fun events, social service, and skill building. If your son chooses a mentor then that man will likely be his transport to these bi-monthly events. After completing three merit badges, and his own Passage Adventure Weekend, he can come back as a staff member of future weekends where he’ll be challenged to step into leadership.

How old does he have to be?

We accept boys 14 through 17 who are ready to commit to taking this next step into manhood.

What is a mentor?

A mentor is a personal ally and supporter. A mentor is not a teacher or surrogate parent. Some young men think of them as uncles or big brothers. Boys to Men screens our volunteers carefully. We’re looking for good men who are already successful in their own lives. Then BTM shares what we know with our mentors: that young men are already excellent, and that mentors get as much as mentees from their friendships
Is this a religious outfit? No. Boys to Men has no religious affiliation or religious teachings. Some chapters of Boys to Men do operate out of church facilities, but Boys to Men supports each boy’s individual spiritual tradition and journey. However Boys to Men does support values like truth, integrity, and responsibility

How much is this does this cost?

A boy does not have to do all components of the program, but it is recommended that he do at least the weekend and activities. The Weekend itself costs $300.00 per boy, and the year of activities is another $150.00. Mentorship is free and optional.

Is there any scholarship money?

Yes. No boy will be left behind. For families that need scholarships we can help a lot, although we ask every family to make a minimum contribution. Click here for your Scholarship Form.

How can I sponsor another kid to go through?

It’s easy and appreciated. Just click on sponsors to get started.

Can he go even if he has a dad at home?

Absolutely. It really does take a village to raise a child well. Studies show that the more healthy & supportive adults that a boy has, the better his chances for success in life are. Boys to Men mentors know that their job is not parenting or teaching. Boys to Men Mentors are allies and friends in life.

How is this outfit different from Big Brothers and Big Sisters?

There are hundreds of mentoring programs operating in Minnesota. Some programs focus on group mentoring by having one adult to many kids, and some focus on making one to one match-ups. BBBS is the largest mentoring organization in Minnesota, and they focus primarily on facilitating one to one mentor matches with children of both genders. Boys to Men has three main program components, Rites of Passage, ongoing activities, as well as optional one to one mentor match-ups.

Who Do We Serve?

The simple answer is all boys.

In our weekends and J-groups, BTM produces a setting where a boy can have fun, be challenged, and then experience his own hidden anger, sadness, sense of loss, and so forth. Thereafter, he finds personal tools to face them. Newly aware of his habitual responses, he now has a choice to deal with them or not.

We operate on the principle that the pains of growing up serve as our best learning opportunities – our problems offer us gifts. Uncovering our pains leads us to courageously confront and deal with them. An initiate no longer needs to accept the role of victim nor need he project them onto others acting as a bully.

Our experience tells us that our program works best for ages 14 to 17. However we find that boys as young as 12 benefit from the mentoring part of our program. For our Rites of Passage and Journeyman programs though, a boy should have experienced the onset of puberty and yet retain some of his little boy softness. Too young and he is not ready to reach for manhood; too mature and he does not relate either to the work nor to other initiates.

Our policy is to maintain a healthy balance of boys both rich and poor, normally healthy as well as seriously traumatized. Always we recruit from a broad spectrum. It is essential that BTM never be characterized as a place for certain cases.

Our program is for boys; period. Our program is and should be considered a normal part of all boys growing up. Neither those young men who have emerged as “Journeymen” nor we want our program to be thought of as a place for `weirdos.’ Those who become Journeymen are proud and thankful of the work they have done and many get their friends to sign up. Parents proudly sign up sons to this fine initiation and all the processes that follow. We impart a sense of honor and want those boys who join us to feel the honor of being selected.

By mixing only a few of hard-core problem boys with a majority of healthy ones sets up situations in which boys from a wide variety of backgrounds can learn from each other. They face what others have to deal with and achieve tolerance and empathy, learn cooperation and team work. There is no better way to gain the insight that all humans face a wide variety of difficulties and all can learn to deal with them with healthy responses.

Letters from Parents
Overview of the Boys to Men Network
Adventure Passage Weekend
Registration Form
Scholarship Form
Pledge Form

Call me today or contact us

Rick Gravrok
Activities Director, BTM-MN
952-926-6655

Thanks.